So, you've had some time to think about whether or not you are WILLING to do what it takes to realise your personal dreams and aspirations. Today, I want to talk about what else you're willing to do.
You see, if you aren't currently living your dream, or actively working towards it, you are WILLING to sacrifice that dream for... what? For someone else's idea of a good time? To please someone else, or meet their expectations? Because your dream is too "out there" and people will laugh at you? Because you think that you can't have your dream and meet your responsibilities at the same time?
If you can't have your cake and eat it too, what's the point in having cake?
You are currently working very hard at your life. Whether or not you are living your dream, or working your way towards inexorably towards it, you are validating your WILLINGNESS to do one or the other. This is an opportunity to shift your focus of WILLINGNESS to something you actually desire, instead of something that is desired by someone else.
And if, by chance, you find that you are not working your way towards your dream - that's YOUR dream, not someone else's dream FOR you - now is your chance to ask yourself some questions, to figure out WHY you might be willing to make sacrifices, in fact to sacrifice YOURSELF, to get what someone else wants, but are somehow unwilling to do the same for yourself.
Who is it that you are willing to make sacrifices for, other than yourself?
Is this person asking you to make these sacrifices, or you just assuming that they are?
If they are asking you directly, and assuming you don't want to say yes, why are you doing so?
What personal need are you serving by avoiding your dreams?
There are many more questions you can ask yourself. The answer to one question will conjur many more questions for you to answer. Follow them until you run out of questions to ask yourself. It is here that you will finally find your answer.
Remember that everything you do is your choice. If you are unhappy it is because you are choosing to see yourself as unhappy. If you are stressed out it is because you are choosing to see yourself as stressed out. If you think the world is a mean and dangerous place it is because that is how you choose to see the world. And the universe will supply you with EXACTLY what you believe in. That one is worth repeating:
The universe will supply you with EXACTLY what you believe in.
There's no getting around it. Choose to be willing to go off in search of your dreams. Choose to make the sacrifices you need to make in order to imbue your life with some element of your dream. Life has no meaning, except that meaning which you bring to it. It is not simply your right, it is your obligation to become the best person you can be. And when are you at your best? When you are doing whatever it takes to live your dream.
There is an entire industry that has been built around the precept that we individuals don't know what is we want from our lives; that we need someone else to help us figure that out. I know this, because I used to work in that industry.
What I've realised though, is that, at least for the most part, we do know what we want to do with our lives. We know what our dreams are, and what makes us happy. The "problem" arises with our willingness (or lack thereof) to do what is necessary to make that dream a reality.
Too often, and I know this will garner some immediate "arm's length" responses from some of you, we believe that the realisation of our dreams should be easy. But let's get one thing clear, and out in the open:
Nothing worth having comes easily.
I can almost hear the "new agers" jumping up and down, stomping their feet on the ground, insisting that, with the proper attention, training, and focused meditation and/or affirmations, achieving your dreams IS easy. My response to that is simply this: does having the proper attention, training, meditation or affirmation ritual come easily? No, it takes work. It takes dedication to get up at 6am every morning to visualise and affirm your day, or to meditate.
Life is NOT easy.
Personally, I wouldn't ask for it to be anything different. So the real question is, are you willing to do whatever it takes to realise your dream?
Having difficulties figuring out what exactly it is that you need to be willing to do? Here's a little exercise to help you out.
Think about your dream. Think about the fact that it's a dream - that it isn't your reality yet. Consider what it would take in order for you to have that dream, right now. Right about this point, things are going to start creeping into your mind, objections, justifications, excuses for why you don't have your dream already. These are the things you must be willing to do.
They might sound something like this: I'm too tired when I get home from work to exercise. I don't have enough money. I already work hard enough as it is. So-and-so needs to give me [insert excuse here] before I can do that.
There are many more ways this unwillingness to do whatever it takes can show up, but these examples are enough to get you started.
I urge you to try the above experiment. Write down the justifications, excuses and objections that come up. Start with a relatively small dream. Then commit to doing one of the things you haven't been doing. Then go do it.
As Jon likes to say, 'Thought without action is like chewing without swallowing.' It may very well taste good, but you certainly aren't going to feed your hunger that way.
I'd like to hear your ARE YOU WILLING success stories. If there was a time in your life when you were willing to do absolutely anything required to achieve a dream, and you'd like to share that story, please post a comment so that others can be inspired by your success.
Be well.
/pk
PS - A small, salient point I'd like to add ... when you show yourself, and the universe, that you ARE willing to do whatever it takes, that your dream is THAT important, quite often you will find it is actually much easier than you thought it would be. Not EASY, just easier than you thought. We have a tendency to make things seem harder than they actually are and this is one of the biggest willingness killers out there. Go for it. I'll be here cheering you on.
I've had an interesting week. Lots of busyness going on, both at work and otherwise. I'm trying to teach Nuala how to drive a stick-shift, and in doing so I'm learning a lot about how to drive a stick-shift. I'm also learning ways of teaching that I didn't fully understand before. Nuala tells me I'm a good teacher, but I'm not sure if she's just humouring me. Nuala is a good student, however, and that's no joke.
In a recent post (and subsequent email) I asked for some coaching and guidance about how to handle a personal situation, and I'd like to say "Thank You" to everyone who offered their advice. My goal in doing this, was to get a wide variety of response, so that I could better see the various sides to this picture, along with the various responses that are available to me. All in a new light. In this, at least, I have been successful, thanks to you.
I am as yet unsure how far I will pursue this, or if I will pursue it at all, but I have registered a complaint with the Better Business Bureau in Cambridge, ON. I did this, in part at least, to leave a signpost for those who might follow me down this moving path, that they might not make the same mistake I did. That, however, depends entirely on other people actually looking for, and reading, the signs along the way. I myself didn't. There are several "unresolved" issues with the BBB regarding Good Ol' Boys Moving, and an inordinate number of complaints in the last two years. Had I thought to check this out first, I could have saved myself some hassle. Or, I could have directed myself into even more hassle. Who knows?
At any rate, I felt it to be a useful thing to do. Letting it go without a response is not honouring myself. Not posting a sign marking possible danger is not only uncaring but rather selfish. Others should know about, and have the opportunity to learn from, my mistakes.
Several people commented on the rather public nature of my request for advice. This is not a new thing for me, but I suppose it is for some of you. Part of moving out here, part of starting a new life, was to re-create myself in a way that is more in keeping with who I believe myself to be; who I proclaim to want to be; who other people tell me they see in me.
I am trying to create an element of transparency in my life. I am no longer afraid of looking silly or "uncool." I want people to be able to learn from the mistakes I make, if they can. I want to learn from them myself. It is through mistakes that we will find our greatest growth.
A person with nothing to hide, hides nothing.
This is the life I am in the process of creating. I owe many thanks and much gratitude to everyone in my life, for your support, your questions, your friendship, your love. And I look forward to seeing you all soon, in my dreams, in yours, where our spirits soar together, always.
I'm trying very hard not to become embroiled in a war of words with the purveyors of Good Ol' Boys Moving, the company I hired to facilitate my move from Toronto to Vancouver. It's becoming very difficult for me to do that, however, when they won't acknowledge any amount of wrong-doing, or, at the very least, that they may have been able to communicate with me better. They've even gone so far as to say that I'm lying and making things up. And so far, they've only had to deal with me - it hasn't gone beyond an email dialogue asking for a rebate, and explaining my reasons for the request.
I am not inclined to take a legal route with them, as I it's really not worth it for the $500 that I'm asking for. However, $500 is $500 and I could really use the extra money put back on my VISA. I've reached a roadblock, and I need assistance getting over it, around it, or removing it from my path, somehow or another. I feel that, on principle, I need to make a stand here, but I'm not sure how next to proceed.
One option is to try and have VISA charge-back my credit card since I have not signed anything with Good Ol' Boys acknowledging or authorising the payment. And since the second portion of the payment, the final portion which, to my very great surprise, was itself more than the total quoted amount for the entire move, was charged to my card by a different company, I feel that this option could work. But is it the "right" option?
Of course, I believe that I'm right, and that I'm deserving of this money back. But, just as obviously, Good Ol' Boys disagrees. So who is RIGHT?
I appreciate any insight, probing questions, or other assistance you can provide that might help me resolve this particular conundrum.
I have had a theory for some time now. I'm not entirely sure of its relevance for anyone other than myself, and so I'm disseminating it here in hopes that I can get some feedback on the overall appropriateness of this as a guiding principle, or if I'm just an odd duck.
(NB: We all know I'm an odd duck... but am I so in this particular case?)
Often times, especially at times when we find ourselves in the greatest amount of turmoil, whether internally or externally, it can be difficult to determine the "correct" course of action, to locate the "right" way. So how do we actually accomplish this? How do we separate what our EGO is trying to get us to do from what our INTUITION knows is the right thing to do?
Before going too far into this, it's important to define what we mean by "right" for in the traditional right/wrong sense of the word, it is clearly based on perspective. One person's "right" action is another's "wrong." In order to easily (and quickly) dispense with this problem, for the purpose of this exercise we are going to define right as that which causes us to improve and grow, without intentionally impeding on anyone else's attempt to improve and grow.
So, knowing that we ultimately want to be taking actions and steps towards growth and improvement in the long-term, as opposed to merely satisfying our short-term ego needs and wants, what are the criteria we can use during moments of internal conflict so that we can determine the "right" course of action?
It is my belief that we each know what is the right thing to do, at all times. We do an incredibly good job of clouding that knowledge, of silencing it, or of simply ignoring it in favour of the easier option. The difficulty is that we often don't want to do what it is that we know we should be doing, because it is much too difficult, or we fear that we will hurt someone else's feelings, or we're tired, or we have too many other things that need to get done. Or, or, or, or.
The crux of the problem is that completing the required action, the one that we know will bring us closer to our stated goal of greater love, fulfillment, growth and personal improvement, is the more difficult choice. Using some dramatic examples, it is fairly easy to illustrate how this can be our guiding light during times when we would rather wallow in the darkness.
It is 3 in the morning, and your newborn baby is crying. What do you do? You can either lie in bed and pretend to ignore it, so that you can go back to sleep, or you can get up and cradle your child, rocking him/her to sleep again and providing for any needs they may have.
Which is the more difficult response, in a physical sense? Which makes you less comfortable? Of course, getting up and tending to your child is the right action, and also the action that requires more effort, is less comfortable.
You are walking along a crowded street, and a man is harassing an elderly woman. He is shouting at her and moving in front of her, blocking her path, whenever she tries to move away. He begins to shove at her shoulders as he yells.
Again, the right course of action is obvious. The woman needs assistance, and although by acting you might be putting yourself in a physically uncomfortable position, you know that helping is the right thing to do.
But what happens when the issues become less dramatic? It becomes much easier for the line to become blurred between what we know is right, what the correct course of action is, and what we want to do, or what might be more satisfying in the immediate future. Of course, this blurring is an imaginary process that occurs in our minds - it doesn't affect the physical world, and it certainly doesn't affect the Truth of which action could be considered more right or correct.
What happens when we see a piece of garbage on the ground? Or when we are tempted to do something that isn't exactly in line with our stated intentions (like buying a $4 latte every morning, when we're trying to save for a house)? What is the right course of action in these circumstances?
My suggestion is that we look for the hardest of the alternatives and seriously consider that this may be the action we should choose. In all of the above cases, and indeed in my own life experiences, the action that is hardest to make is almost always the one that is most appropriate. I have often delayed taking that path, and in some cases have avoided it altogether. In those latter examples, I have found that my alternative, although supplying me with a more immediate gratification, did not get me closer to my goal in the long run. And most often, I have had to come back to the same choice point at some time in the future. I could, conceivably, repeat the same circumstance, over and over, until I finally make the right choice, regardless of how uncomfortable that might make me.
Our sense of comfort, or lack of, can be a very good indicator in our lives. A sense or feeling of discomfort, especially when experienced in relation to taking a difficult, "right" action, can help us know when we are growing, pushing our own personal boundaries and expanding our knowledge and experience in the world.
As with all things in life, practice makes perfect. Practice taking actions that you know are the "right" thing to do. Not because someone else will give you credit or accolades for it, but simply for the right-ness of it. Start small and work your way up. Momentum can be a very powerful tool, and working on small problems, gaining small successes, can give you the momentum you need to take on some of the bigger issues. But that's a topic for another day.
I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on "right" action and your strategies for determining the correct course of action when you are having a mental argument with yourself.
On Saturday, we took a nice easy walk around Rice Lake, a nice easy circuit that takes about 2.5 hours return from our place. On Sunday, we did a bit longer of a trip, on more varied terrain, over a combination of trails. As you can see by the pics, this is a true wilderness area, regardless of the maintained trails. In many areas there are signs warning that bears have been spotted in the area, although we have yet to see any.
In addition, our belongings FINALLY arrived from Ontario... "on-time" as far as the movers were concerned, and over a week late as far as we're concerned. I guess figuring out who's "right" will depend entirely on your perspective, however we will be actively working towards a refund of some amount due to the obscene lack of regard we were shown through this process. While the majority of our gear arrived in passable condition, our kitchen table arrived in 4 pieces. It was originally loaded in 1 piece. Needless to say, we will also be looking for compensation for that.
I can say for sure that, having now moved across the country once, I will be approaching any future moves with a completely different mindset. First, and foremost, I will likely not use an independent company again. While normally I prefer to give my business to smaller, more locally-based companies, after this experience, and without a proper independent national mover, I think that I would be much better served to use a national company. Surely, there must be something equally as expensive that will give me less of a headache in the long run. Incidentally, I used Good Ol' Boys Moving. Maybe it's the fact that I picked a company with the word Ol' in it that really did me in. I don't think I need to actually say this, but for the record I DO NOT RECOMMEND that anyone use this company.
If anyone has any experience and/or recommendations on cross-country moving, please feel free to post a comment.
It's incredibly gratifying to live in a region that I have dreamed about for so long. There is nothing quite like waking up in the morning knowing that I am living on the side of a mountain, with all the amenities included so close at hand. We seem to have been able to show (ourselves, at least) that we are capable of taking advantage of those amenities, which is an encouraging sign.
I trust that all is well with you, wherever you are, and whatever you're doing.
Have you yet realised just how powerful your thoughts really are? Do you even pay attention to them?
I only ask because, in my somewhat limited experience (I've only been around for 31 years, you know), it would seem to me that the majority of people don't pay attention to their thoughts. And, therefore, they miss out on a powerful tool they can apply in their life. In fact, they are at the mercy of their thoughts since that power is innate. Are you one of these people?
I know what at least some of you are probably thinking: 'He's about to start talking about affirmations and manifestation again. That crazy Paul... he's read too many Wayne Dyer books.' And you'd at least be close in thinking this, however I've never actually read a Wayne Dyer book.
The power of your thoughts lies not so much in affirmations, although these too are a powerful tool. What I am talking about here is your actual day-to-day thinking. The manner in which you think. The mindset from which your thoughts spring forth.
When someone asks you how you're doing do you say, "Not bad," or "I'm good?"
From my vantage point, there is a huge difference between the two, and I personally would prefer to describe my life by what it IS as opposed to what it ISN'T. Not bad? What does that actually describe?
Of course, you might argue that sometimes you're not good, and at the same time you're not bad, so this answer would fit. But it isn't a truly honest answer. In this case, the most accurate, honest answer you could give is, "I'm okay." Okay. Not good, not bad, just okay. And it clearly describes how you actually feel.
I encourage you to spend some time listening to yourself. Hear what you are saying and really try and decipher the messages that you are transmitting to others. Thoughts and words are energy - the essence of what this world is made up of - and it's important that we be crystal clear, with ourselves, if no one else, what kind of energy we truly intend to put into the world.
Remember, like attracts like. If you're getting a lot of shit in your life, chances are you'll find a lot of shit in your thoughts and words too.
You might be wanting to dismiss this as semantics. Go ahead, if that's what you want to do. But remember this too: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If you want to experience a change in your life, it's YOU who is going to have to do the changing.
Okay! So I now have some pics taken here in North Vancouver, so I figured it was about time I stopped ranting and started posting some updates about our new life here.
I'll wait to give the full update on the debacle that is our moving company, as we still don't have our belongings, and don't actually expect them until next week at the earliest.
On Saturday Nuala and I took a walk into Lynn Canyon Park, which is about a 10 minute walk from our house. Here there is a suspension bridge, and it feeds into a big park with loads of hiking. We did some exploring and will get out for a full day of hiking soon. But on this day, we simply meandered a little bit, getting our hiking legs in order, and came across a few slugs in our travels. Apparently BC slugs are HUGE!
On Monday (Labour Day) we took the SeaBus across to Vancouver and walked along the seawall to Stanley Park. For those of you who may not be familiar with, Stanley Park (named after Lord Stanley, of NHL fame) designated the park for public use many years ago, and it remains Canada's largest urban park.
As you can see, the weather was absolutely beautiful here on Monday, and the scenery is simply spectacular. After walking through the park that day, we stopped for a bite and a beer on the Vancouver side, where we met a couple from Northern California. They had done the Grouse Grind that day, a hike up Grouse Mountain, which Nuala and I will also get to at some point.
For more pics, including some of our new place, visit Nuala's blog.
All in all, things are progressing well. Work is good, we are gradually getting settled into our new home, and we are constantly exploring our new surroundings. Life is good.
Have you ever noticed yourself noticing? Observed yourself observing? It's what I call the 'Awareness of Awareness' and it's one of the most disturbing, and most liberating, experiences one can have.
Imagine yourself sitting in a forest. All around you are the sights and sounds of the wilderness: the wind rustling in the leaves of the trees far above; the stream flowing, slipping, crashing around rocks and banks; birds overhead, sometimes unseen, cawing at one another; a dry twig cracking as a nearby animals inadvertently steps on it; a person sitting against a tree, still and silent, taking it all in.
You are part of the environment, not separate from it, and you experience yourself as such, if only for the briefest of moments. And in the exact moment you notice yourself noticing your noticing, it's gone. Like a whisp of air, the dream is blown away, and you're left with neither the noticing, the noticing of noticing, nor the noticing of noticing of noticing.
I'm too tired today to post anything of any real significant insight. Last night was our first night in the new apartment, but we don't have our bed yet, so we had to sleep on the floor. Combine that with a constantly whining Figgie, and we got about 3 hours sleep last night. Today is not a fun day....
So, if you haven't already checked out Wikipedia I suggest you do so. It's a free, online encyclopedia. It's got loads of information on just about every subject you can imagine. And if you can't find something you're looking for, you can request it, or start writing it yourself.
Anyway, have fun. I'm going to go back to sleep at my keyboard now.
/pk
PS - Having just re-read my first sentence, I can already hear you laughingly asking "When was the first time you posted anything of any significant insight? HahahahahahaZzzzzzzzzzz.
I've had to enable word verification on my comments for this blog. Because I've been posting lately, the spammers have found me and are auto-commenting. The word verification will help that, but will unfortunately hinder you a little bit.
Hopefully it won't deter you from providing feedback.
Hurricane Katrina has absolutely devastated some US states, creating a situation that will likely require tens of thousands, if not more, homes to be rebuilt from scratch, due to the water sitting in, on and under the foundation of many homes and businesses in the area.
Because of this, so-called 'savvy' investors have been investing in stocks for companies such as Home Depot, driving the stock price up in the days leading up to, and following, the hurricane's landfall. But private investors aren't the only ones set to profit from the increase in demand for lumber.
The on-going lumber tariff dispute between Canada and the United States will mean the US government agencies responsible for the tariffs will see a dramatic increase in profit over the next while, due mainly to the rebuilding effort after the hurricane. Many of the states hit by the hurricane are softwood producing areas, which means that the demand for Canadian lumber during the rebuilding process will increase. And so will the amount of money we have to pay in tariffs.
"This tragedy, coupled with ongoing lumber tariffs, will only further harm lumber consumers - especially those needing affordable housing in the U.S.," Susan Petniunas of American Consumers for Affordable Homes told The Canadian Press.
Here's what Scott Shotwell, a spokesman for the protectionist Coalition for Fair Lumber Imports, (a proponent for keeping the tariffs in place) said in an interview from Washington.
"If Canada wants to do the humanitarian aid and donate their lumber, there would be no duty on free lumber."
So it seems that, in fact, the US doesn't want to profit from this disaster. At least not on the goods we are willing to donate as aid. How very generous of you, Scott.
It's time to stop thinking about the size of your wallet, and the bottom line, and start thinking about how you're going to rebuild homes for tens of thousands of people. But maybe that's not your top priority right now...
Location: West Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
A copywriter, consultant & now Amazon #1 bestselling author, Paul Keetch has a knack for making complex topics easy to understand.
Paul reveals this talent in his book Make My Marketing Work: How to Win Customers & Make More Money by distilling marketing down to its few essential elements.
These essential elements are the keys to your marketing success. Using simple language and effective exercises, Paul helps business owners move beyond theory and into practical, real-world strategy and action.
His process-driven and results-oriented approach to marketing has led his clients to refer to him as The Customer Creator.
Those clients include Chicken Soup for the Soul co-creator, Mark Victor Hansen, T. Harv Eker, Christine Comaford and Libby Gill, the woman who help launched the Dr. Phil brand.
