The Longest Road?

I have had a theory for some time now. I'm not entirely sure of its relevance for anyone other than myself, and so I'm disseminating it here in hopes that I can get some feedback on the overall appropriateness of this as a guiding principle, or if I'm just an odd duck.

(NB: We all know I'm an odd duck... but am I so in this particular case?)

Often times, especially at times when we find ourselves in the greatest amount of turmoil, whether internally or externally, it can be difficult to determine the "correct" course of action, to locate the "right" way. So how do we actually accomplish this? How do we separate what our EGO is trying to get us to do from what our INTUITION knows is the right thing to do?

Before going too far into this, it's important to define what we mean by "right" for in the traditional right/wrong sense of the word, it is clearly based on perspective. One person's "right" action is another's "wrong." In order to easily (and quickly) dispense with this problem, for the purpose of this exercise we are going to define right as that which causes us to improve and grow, without intentionally impeding on anyone else's attempt to improve and grow.

So, knowing that we ultimately want to be taking actions and steps towards growth and improvement in the long-term, as opposed to merely satisfying our short-term ego needs and wants, what are the criteria we can use during moments of internal conflict so that we can determine the "right" course of action?

It is my belief that we each know what is the right thing to do, at all times. We do an incredibly good job of clouding that knowledge, of silencing it, or of simply ignoring it in favour of the easier option. The difficulty is that we often don't want to do what it is that we know we should be doing, because it is much too difficult, or we fear that we will hurt someone else's feelings, or we're tired, or we have too many other things that need to get done. Or, or, or, or.

The crux of the problem is that completing the required action, the one that we know will bring us closer to our stated goal of greater love, fulfillment, growth and personal improvement, is the more difficult choice. Using some dramatic examples, it is fairly easy to illustrate how this can be our guiding light during times when we would rather wallow in the darkness.

It is 3 in the morning, and your newborn baby is crying. What do you do? You can either lie in bed and pretend to ignore it, so that you can go back to sleep, or you can get up and cradle your child, rocking him/her to sleep again and providing for any needs they may have.

Which is the more difficult response, in a physical sense? Which makes you less comfortable? Of course, getting up and tending to your child is the right action, and also the action that requires more effort, is less comfortable.

You are walking along a crowded street, and a man is harassing an elderly woman. He is shouting at her and moving in front of her, blocking her path, whenever she tries to move away. He begins to shove at her shoulders as he yells.

Again, the right course of action is obvious. The woman needs assistance, and although by acting you might be putting yourself in a physically uncomfortable position, you know that helping is the right thing to do.

But what happens when the issues become less dramatic? It becomes much easier for the line to become blurred between what we know is right, what the correct course of action is, and what we want to do, or what might be more satisfying in the immediate future. Of course, this blurring is an imaginary process that occurs in our minds - it doesn't affect the physical world, and it certainly doesn't affect the Truth of which action could be considered more right or correct.

What happens when we see a piece of garbage on the ground? Or when we are tempted to do something that isn't exactly in line with our stated intentions (like buying a $4 latte every morning, when we're trying to save for a house)? What is the right course of action in these circumstances?

My suggestion is that we look for the hardest of the alternatives and seriously consider that this may be the action we should choose. In all of the above cases, and indeed in my own life experiences, the action that is hardest to make is almost always the one that is most appropriate. I have often delayed taking that path, and in some cases have avoided it altogether. In those latter examples, I have found that my alternative, although supplying me with a more immediate gratification, did not get me closer to my goal in the long run. And most often, I have had to come back to the same choice point at some time in the future. I could, conceivably, repeat the same circumstance, over and over, until I finally make the right choice, regardless of how uncomfortable that might make me.

Our sense of comfort, or lack of, can be a very good indicator in our lives. A sense or feeling of discomfort, especially when experienced in relation to taking a difficult, "right" action, can help us know when we are growing, pushing our own personal boundaries and expanding our knowledge and experience in the world.

As with all things in life, practice makes perfect. Practice taking actions that you know are the "right" thing to do. Not because someone else will give you credit or accolades for it, but simply for the right-ness of it. Start small and work your way up. Momentum can be a very powerful tool, and working on small problems, gaining small successes, can give you the momentum you need to take on some of the bigger issues. But that's a topic for another day.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on "right" action and your strategies for determining the correct course of action when you are having a mental argument with yourself.

Be well.

/pk